Today is my birthday. It should be known that I consider it to be second in importance only to Christmas Day, and woe to those close to me who forget that. It's the one day out of 365 where pure and simple self-centeredness is allowed and encouraged. I love it. I live for it. But there is ONE problem with my particular birthday. It didn't bother me much before age13, but ever since, I've had to watch out for it.
A mid-June birthday by its nature is at risk of being shared with graduations at all levels, and occasionally Father's Day. My 8th grade graduation was on my birthday. To be fair, it was also the day of my brother's college graduation, which he chose not to attend (mostly because my father needed him to chauffeur us to the airport for a trip to the midwest). At the time, it didn't strike me as a big deal because the trip was my graduation present. But now, as an adult and as a parent, I can't imagine missing my own college graduation, and I sure as hell wouldn't miss my kid's college graduation. What was going on there?
When I was a senior in high school, my birthday was 3 days prior to graduation. Lovely day, lots of fun. And then my father went on a business trip and missed my graduation. He sent my older brother in his stead. Again, as a parent, I can't conceive of taking a pass on my kid's high school graduation, even if he did barely make it - maybe all the more so! But Dad had a trip he couldn't change, and so my brother was his representative. I was not impressed.
My college graduation was the day before my birthday. Dad missed that one, as well, since he died seven months prior. Both brothers were in attendance. That was the most fun graduation ever - school was done, I was OUT, and preparing for my wedding in four weeks. We spent my birthday attending the wedding of another good friend - oh yeah, that's the OTHER thing with which mid-June birthdays compete - LOTS of weddings!
As I get older and birthdays don't get the same hoop-de-doo as they did when I was a child, I find myself behaving more like a child, and stomping my foot and pouting if I am not appropriately fussed over. Not very attractive, to be sure. It's just that at this stage, I feel like I'm disappearing - my kids, my nieces & nephews, my friends all have so many milestones to celebrate, and I feel lost in the shuffle. Our boys each had a milestone graduation shared with my birthday. This birthday in particular is a bit of a weird one for me - I am the age today that my mother was when my father died and left her widowed with two kids at home. That one stops me in my tracks. And I wonder how many more birthdays I will have - with any luck, a whole bunch - and who will be with me to celebrate. And I'm not quite as willing to share as I should be, and used to be.
Who says with age comes wisdom? In my case, it certainly doesn't come with grace....stay tuned....
Im with you- a birthday should absolutely be celebrated, and I think the older we get the more important it is!I was going to suggest celebrating your half-birthday since June gets so crazy, but that puts it in December, which is probably even worse. Grab a group of friends and celebrate it when YOU want, and damned be the calendar!
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