On February 1, I had my appointment in the NW Clinic for Voice & Swallowing. The doc to whom I'd been referred had taken pity on me, and agreed to see me 3 weeks earlier than his scheduler arranged. Great guy, very personable and understanding. First I had to be seen by an intake nurse, a resident, and two other women whose specialties I did not catch. Looked like a dentist's office, which is NEVER a good sign. I've never understood why they have you fill out those detailed pre-visit questionnaires; then ask you the same damn questions every time a new person walks in the room. Talk about Groundhog Day....
In order to figure anything out, they of course needed to look at my vocal chords (which are, in case you're wondering, very tiny and sin ugly). The first attempt was with a flexible scope with a 97 foot long cord...I wondered if that was so that they had enough length to chase after those who ran screaming out of the room. And I decided it was worth using my dentist office strategy. Close your eyes - what you can't see, can't freak you out. They thread this tiny thing through your nose and down your throat - kinda like the movie Fantastic Voyage - and then have you make the sound "Eeeeeeee", so they can watch things vibrate. Only problem was that by the time they got the camera where they wanted it, it had triggered my tickle/sneeze reflex and I wasn't able to hold the "eeee" long enough. And I proceeded to have a 5 minute coughing fit.
So then they tried the non-flexible scope - doesn't get as clear/deep a picture, but doesn't trigger reflexes as easily. I had to stick out my tongue and they held it, then put this camera scope in my mouth and had me make various sounds/scales/etc. Which must have been the most god-awful sounds I have ever produced - it reminded me of when Drew was learning the saxophone - kinda like a lovesick moose. We tried that a couple times with varying results. I had a meltdown or two, because I was so tired and frustrated, and I knew I wasn't helping them get the pictures they needed. But they were very tender and patient, and gave me as much time as I wanted (hint: the one hour appointment turned into 2). They played back everything so he could see it. Nothing like hearing a discussion of your anatomy narrated by the camera person....
Long answer to short question: No, I do NOT have any growths/nodules/tumors on the chords, as far as they can tell. That alone dropped my blood pressure twenty points. I do NOT have asthma (we already knew that). My sinuses appear to be fine (thought THAT was interesting). There is also no infection. But the vocal chords ARE very swollen and mucous-y and he doesn't know why. So here's the deal. Starting today, for the next 14 days, I will take 30 mgs of prednisone every morning to try and determine if this is a steroid-responsive or non-steroid-responsive cough. If it is the former, I will be put on a steroid inhaler (NOT like the one I was on before, which had add'l meds I don't need) for god knows how long. The reasoning is that it is on the cusp of changing from an acute cough to a chronic cough, which are tougher to reverse. If it's the latter, I didn't get a real good response because he's taking one thing at a time.
He did not demand that I go on total voice rest (translation: NOTHING out of your mouth except a sneeze), but he did say that my voice will not improve in enough time to do Bernstein's Mass. So, I think I am going to resign from the chorale; it's a huge time demand, and as fun as it's been, I don't think going forward it will help resolve this issue. I"ll go to the concert; nothing will make me miss that, but I"ll be an usher or something. I also think I'm going to back off from Holy Redeemer stuff. They have some newcomers they can tackle to fill in, and I think it's time. I'm not exactly sure what God is telling me, but I don't think it's along the lines of "Go ahead, dear, beat your brains out trying to do everything, maintain impossibly high standards, and see how it works out for ya". The total terror of possibly losing my voice permanently is enough to make me drop everything.
Yesterday on the way to work I had a 40 minute coughing fit on the bus...I had plenty of cough drops and kleenex, but forgot a water bottle.....I thought I was gonna get lynched. so from now on, I go nowhere w/o a water bottle. I just want it to stop, and I want to be able to sing again, spontaneously, the way I always have.
Word to the wise: if you have a chance at the extended warranty when you get to 60, TAKE IT!!!
I have a dear friend who had the chronic cough. She was on complete vocal rest for 3 weeks, then they took the chalkboards out of her classroom and replaced them with white boards and gave her a vocal amplification system. Her specialist said most teachers misuse their voices--we have to talk a lot each day and at a volume louder than normal to reach the back of the room. I would lose my voice at least once a year. I even wrote a post on Open Salon about the time I was on mandatory vocal rest. I'm so sorry you are going through all of this and hope there is a solution to this very frustrating situation. Hang in there!
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